Narcissist Secrets: If there is one thing that a narcissist thrives on, it is their reputation, and they will go to any length to defend it. This is why they deceive and lie. Narcissists have various secrets that they employ as a weapon, which is why they don’t want anyone to know their dirty little secrets.

You won’t guess the one thing narcissists and abusers don’t want you to know about abusers’ dirty little secret. In fact, many find it so humiliating that they won’t even confess it to themselves. They hide it under their bluster and insult, as well as their bravado and arrogance.

The narcissist’s bold persona deceives others. Their words perplex them, and their hostility intimidates and shames them. They are unaware that an abuser’s personality is a mask and that their actions are a smoke and mirror act.

It’s designed as a protection mechanism to conceal a fearful, insecure child on the inside — a youngster who feels as insignificant as the abuser’s pretension to importance.

Their hidden agenda is that they are insecure and needy. This is why they must feel powerful and in command at all costs.

It explains their entire personality and abuse once you realize this. They act as though they aren’t needed and pass judgement on their partners’ wants and sentiments. Outside of an intimate connection, some abusers and narcissists appear to be fairly self-sufficient.

Nonetheless, their work, coworkers, and casual lovers pay attention to them. In a love relationship, they expect you to meet their constant demands, which may include being left alone at times.

Here are the dirty little secrets no narcissist would ever want you to get hold of

1. Control

To feel safe, narcissists must dominate other people and their environment, including your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours! They demand, ridicule, or manipulate you in order to elevate themselves while lowering you. You end up feeling unsafe, just like they do on the inside.

Projective identification is a type of defense. Your emotions reveal how you feel and, in many situations, how you were treated as a youngster.

2. Grandiosity

It’s worth noting that narcissists must boast, exaggerate, and fantasies about their superiority. They appear to be unique, entitled, and arrogant, and they aspire to be associated with the greatest and most costly or well-known people.

All of these activities are ways for individuals to feel less insecure and ashamed of their feelings of weakness and inadequacy. They don’t have to feel little and insignificant if they’re the best, even if it’s just by association or by purchasing fancy symbols.

3. Arrogance and Envy

This implies that they believe they are superior to you and everyone else. They must outperform or outperform everyone who excels or outperforms them in some way. They believe they are insufficient or a failure if they are not on top.

This explains their envy and animosity for others with whom they compete, even if only in their heads. Some malignant and perfectionistic narcissists would aggressively seek revenge for real or imagined wrongs against their competition.

4. Hypersensitivity

Their insecurity also explains why they are hypersensitive to any form of criticism, real or imagined. If you disagree, you must be mistaken, as they must be correct. They’ll accuse you of being overly sensitive, yet it’s they who are overly sensitive to comments. They see a lack of praise as a condemnation.

They also require constant affirmation, praise, loyalty, and approval in order to prove that they are the best.

֍ Because they are so insecure, they are constantly in need of their narcissistic supply.

֍ Because their self-doubt is so strong, any praise or attention gives them a temporary boost, but it doesn’t last or mean anything in the long run because they are ashamed on the inside.

֍ Because of their shame, narcissists are unable to accept responsibility for their words or acts.

They cannot accept any wrong or mistake, or even ownership of their own statements, for fear of being asked to explain themselves, since they are so scared of being judged.

Things are either good or evil, black or white, success or failure in their universe. Because they are already ashamed and insecure, any mistake makes them feel horrible, like a failure, and unlovable.

5. Defenses

Denial, which can involve conscious lying, is a child’s first line of defense when they are in difficulties. Your next line of defense is to point the finger at you, their boss, the system, or other people outside themselves. The facts are irrelevant, and debating with them is a waste of time.

They can even accuse you of making them do something. By blaming you, they are, ironically, relinquishing authority. They’re implying that you have influence over them. They’ll be surprised if you point this out to them.

Their preferred argument, after denial, is projection. They blame you and others of being weak, overly sensitive, inferior, insignificant, or whatever else they don’t want to feel about themselves, rather than feeling weak, inferior, unimportant, or any other negative trait. They’re using projection to get rid of their filthy little secret by making you and other people the helpless ones with all the issues.

Don’t fall for their game. Talk to supportive friends and professionals. Trust your instincts and get more information on narcissism.