Some people are exceptionally skilled at deception. While you may believe you know what to look for, then chances are you don’t.
Detecting deception requires a great deal of skill, and the more you practice, the better you will become at it, but things are never as simple as we would like them to be. Having said that, you should pay close attention to specific phrases, subsequent actions, and how people say things in general. Many con artists will use specific phrases to try to fool you or pull the wool over your eyes, and you must be aware of this.
Below, I’ll break down some of the more common phrases I’ve heard liars use over the years, as well as what those phrases mean when used by manipulative people. While the average person might use them as well, context is important. You might want to add these to your list of red flags.
9 Things People Commonly Say When They’re Lying:
1. “Don’t you have something better to do?”
When confronted with someone who is lying to you, they will do everything possible to get you off their backs. If their other tactics don’t work, they’ll quickly accuse you of being the bad guy. Even if you’re just trying to have a proper discussion, they’ll try to act as if you’re attacking them.
2. “Are you really accusing me right now?”
Liars will be disgusted by the fact that you think they’d lie in the first place. Even if they’ve been caught in many lies before and you have reason to believe they’re lying, they’ll be horrified by the concept as a whole. This should suffice for your needs.
3. “To tell you the truth…”
When someone says something like this, you should assume that the truth isn’t going to come out. This allows them to spend more time imagining their story and creating a narrative in their heads. Liars will go to great lengths to use more words than are required.
4. “This is exactly what happened.” – Too Much Detail
When someone is lying to you, they will use a lot of details to try to make their story seem plausible. It will be well-rehearsed, and everything will have been accounted for. If they were simply answering your questions, they wouldn’t go into any more detail than was absolutely necessary.
5. “I don’t remember having done that/said that.”
When caught in the act of lying, some liars simply refuse to admit what they’ve done or said. They will not claim that they did not do or say something, but rather that they are unable to recall it. This is true even if you’ve caught them red-handed. Above all else, remember that facts do not lie.
6. “You cannot prove that!”
It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or isn’t true just because you can’t prove it. When someone lies, they’re attempting to deceive you into believing you’re mistaken, and you shouldn’t fall for it. They wouldn’t be so eager to make it appear as if proof was required if they knew they had done nothing wrong.
7. “I would never.”
When someone says this phrase, they may be sincere, but if they say it frequently, you should be suspicious. This is referred to as a sweeping statement, and it is their attempt to ‘sweep’ issues under the rug. Don’t let them isolate you in this way.
8. “Why on Earth would I do that?”
A liar can work to turn the tables on you by asking a question like this. Instead of admitting to whatever it was, they want you to wonder why you’re asking them about it in the first place. Sure, they’re lying, but they’re not going to say so outright.
9. “How can you doubt me like this?”
This is another way to make things work against you. They want you to resent you for questioning them in the first place. The deeper you go, the more they’ll try to make you feel bad about it.